Day #14 18/01/2020

Aaaah, Saturday… Waking up this morning we didn’t really have any plans besides getting a run in and I knew I really needed to get a blog post written! Before heading down my big hill to Mitch’s house I spent some time in the word.

 I’ve really been struggling with feeling like a phony “missionary.” Yeah, I’m working with a mobile clinic, and on the outside it looks like a crazy amazing thing, but it really isn’t. I’m learning a lot about life here, learning to appreciate the freedoms that we have in the United States, learning that people do silly things no matter where you are in the world. I feel though, that despite what all these people have shared with me, taught me, and how they’ve served me, I have done nothing that can compare or come close to repaying them. I came here thinking that I would be doing the clinic such a service, but in honesty, I probably only slowed them down. I came here thinking that I would share my service, and have been cooked for and had my shoes washed by people who saw my need. I came here thinking that I would share the love of Jesus to people, but nothing I have done could compare the love that has been shown to me. I know that I have issues being my own greatest critic, but it’s like everything I came here to give, I’ve only received in surplus. After blurbing all this out at once, I am reminded of a later portion of 2 Cor. 9 that I shared a few posts ago: “He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God.” Another thing that has stuck in my mind since she said it was Dra. Jennifer told me, “You have to learn to receive too.” At the time, I clung to it but told myself that was really just a way to make myself feel better. Looking back at this scripture though, it seems that it is God’s design for us to receive so that we can continue to be generous.

The rest of today was bumming around, looking into planning a quick trip to the neighboring island of Utila for the last few days for some fun (as if the rest of this adventure wasn’t enough…). We drove around town looking at the various places where Mitch has built homes, churches, and ministry buildings with other missionaries in Siguatepeque. It’s amazing to see what God has done through him and many others to serve these people. My personal favorite was called Melodias des Esperanza, which is a music program for kids to have a good outlet rather than get mixed up in gang violence and just so they have a safe place to go and hear about Jesus. 

After our drive around Sigua, it was time for a run. We set out to find some more level ground than the dirt roads of the barrios downtown. We drove around looking for places where the guards wouldn’t get the trucked towed out, and finally settled on the seminary (where Mitch used to work). It was the longest five mile run of my life. I ran alongside the CA-5 (the only highway in Honduras) as Mitch rode his bike with me the whole way. We ran on the shoulder of the highway as semi’s passed us and blew heavy gusts in our faces. The worst of it though was the looks. Now, being a gringa is already a show stopper, but being a gringa in running shorts is like I may as well have been running down the side of the highway wearing no clothes at all. Every single head turned my way, and it wasn’t because me huffing and puffing was very flattering. It’s just a different mentality here in the way that women are treated. I realized how I have been blessed to live somewhere that I am valued as more than being a female or looking any sort of way. If Mitch hadn’t been beside me the whole way, I know that I wouldn’t have been safe. I know that I will not take the freedoms of the United States for granted again. I will appreciate the ability to run down just about any road that I choose without fear of anyone. I pray that this would change here, and that women would be cherished the way that God made them to be.

Day #11

Today we were back in El Porvenir at the main clinic. I do love adventuring out into the mountain villages, but I also really enjoy being at El Porvenir. There we have a more definite routine, and I know what Elba needs me to do and how to help her– rather than be in her way. Even though there’s an immense language barrier between the two of us, we’ve found a way to communicate impressively well (in my humble opinion). We do a lot of hand signals, extra explaining, and patience. Elba likes to overlook the fact that I don’t speak Spanish, and continue to go 100 mph when she speaks, and then look at me expectantly as if I FINALLY understand Spanish. I can’t say that I understand her all the time, but for a good majority, I end up figuring it out. When I don’t, I know how to say “yo no say,” and then we both just laugh. We do a lot of laughing… 

I’m beginning to feel very at home at the clinic. I know I said it already, but my biggest fear (which turned into my biggest prayer) was that people around me would be frustrated and that I would be in their way here. I’d be lying if I said I never felt like I was in the way, but it was never the people around me that made me feel that way. It was really only myself. Every. Single. Person. That I have met, has been painfully patient with my incredible lack of Spanish understanding. They cheer me on when I decide that I want to try and make them suffer through a hodge podge sentence that sounded bad even  when it was still in my head. And, on the RARE occasion that what does come out of my mouth does make sense, they celebrate with me! 

I came here to serve, but I feel like all the while, the people I’ve met have served me. I came to share Jesus’ love with the people of Honduras, but they’ve taught me more about what His love really looks like. It is patient even when you can’t communicate simple ideas, it is kind even when you make their job more difficult, and it keeps no record of wrongs even when you accidentally almost give a shot to a baby that wasn’t supposed to get it. The love and kindness I’ve been shown can never be repayed, but I’ll sure as heck try:)

After noon, there were no more patients showing up, so Dra. Altamirano asked if I would like to go with her to the downtown market. It’s like the farmers market, except it’s there every Tuesday and Thursday all year long. There is so much to see: fruit of all kinds, vegetables, beans, fish, Honduran cheese (which is not cheese… they think it is but it’s just not… I’m from Wisconsin, I know these things.), and so many different baked goods. Being with a local at the market was so much fun. Jennifer knew about so many things that I never would have noticed. She also knew the vendors which means FREE SAMPLES. We tried fruits, “cheese,” sweet cream, and this coconut candy stuff that I sooo badly wish that I could get through customs. It is candied shaved coconut with either brown or cane sugar. We also tried candied coconut husk which was dipped in sugary stuff and then roasted somehow. It almost tasted like popcorn, but was the consistency of a cocounut. I’m pretty satisfied by my spoils from the market though. Three fresh avocados for 25 lempira which is equivalent to about 1 USD, some of that coconut candy stuff, and, my favorite, “leechies” they look like those clickbait food pictures for sure, but they taste a lot like grapes! There’s a big pitt in the middle though. 

To top the night off, Mitch and I ran down to the Mennonite store to get some fresh icecream and yogurt. The carmelo ice cream was a good call, and the perfect way to end the day. Now it’s way past my bedtime, so I gotta go to sleep. Here’s hoping that Jack the Honduran Turkey Dog doesn’t keep us all awake tonight. 

Day #8 12/01/20

Early this morning we got up to drive to the base for a workout and some breakfast before we went to the chapel service there. The airbase is right outside Comayagua which is only 20 km or so from the hospital, but because of the mountains it is usually at least 10º hotter. By 8am the sun was already ablaze which made for a difficult workout, but at least my body is used to the altitude now. It was hot, but I didn’t feel like I was sucking air through a straw. [Fun fact: you can usually still get a plastic straw at any resturant here] [Another fun fact: Honduras is not extrememly environmentally focused]. After the workout was all finished up we had breakfast in the DFAC (Dining Facility–apparently the military has to shorten everything to 5 letters or less). We got to sit with two Colonels which was pretty sweet. One was a family practitioner who had actually strarted out his career as a chemistry prof. Spending all this time at the base has me wondering if military med is something I might want to pursue. I’m not sure since spending even these three short weeks away from my family have been kinda challenging. Anyway, something to pray about I guess. 

The Chapel service was run by Chaplain LP, and it was so small and intimate, I’m glad we had a chance to attend. The message was on the spiritual discipline of fasting. Honestly, here, I’m not sure what to write other than I am struggling with what I should do now. I understand the purpose of fasting, but don’t know how it would work while still training. I’ve never done it before, but I understand how it could really cause your heart to draw nearer to God and bring a focus to your prayer life. Honestly, if anyone has any wisdom on this, please reach out or leave a comment. It’s something I’ll be praying about, and I ask for prayer from you as well. One thing that I thought may deserve a fast is that God would use me effectively here to share the gospel. I don’t speak spanish well at all, so I’ve become frustrated and feel like I don’t deserve to be here. I feel as though my service with a smile and a loving heart isn’t enough to tell people that I’m on a missions trip. However, despite all the doubts, I know what is true. I know that this trip isn’t about me or anything that I think that I can accomplish. God is not confined to what I am capable of (thank goodness). All this thought brings me back to this verse that keeps finding me this past week: “God is ENOUGH to make all grace abound to you, so that having ALL sufficiency in ALL things at ALL times, you are ENOUGH in every good work” (2 Cor. 9:8). That’s my mom’s version, but if you look at the reference it’s the same message. My mission this week is to continue praying this over every situation.

After chapel, we continued on to downtown Comayagua to see the chapel there which was built in 1100 by the Spaniards who occupied at the time. It was gorgeous on its own, but by far the most impressive part was the view from the top of the bell tower. It overlooked the entire city and its surrounding mountains. To see houses nestled into a mountainside is my favorite view (aside from the ocean) and I was not disappointed there. 

As we left downtown headed back for Sigua, we had to stop for some traditional Honduran Baskin Robbins. I had some Rocky Roadito;) It’s really still just called Rocky Road though… The rest of the day was pretty laid back: got the chance to publish some blog posts, do some laundry, but most important– watch the Packers DOMINATE over the Seahawks (in Espanol). 

As I wrap up for the night, I would like to ask for some specific prayer requests. First, in general, that opportunities would arise for the gospel to be shared whether it is verbally or through service. Also, the driver of the mobile clinic, Kolmar, has a beautiful young daughter named Emily who is not older than 9. On Friday she was tested for Tuberculosis and given nebulizer treatments, along with steroid injections. Please pray for her and for her family as they await the test results. Most importantly, pray that they would know Jesus as their savior, but then also that they would trust in His power to do anything. Finally, a praise for the Lord and a thank you for your prayer that has been answered for me: before departing for this trip, I was so worried that the people would only be upset with me and annoyed by me slowing them down and not understanding the language. I asked you all to pray with me that their hearts would be softened for me and that they would have patience with my mistakes. I can truthfully say that everyone I  have met has been more patient, kind, and merciful than I could have imagined, and that is an answer to prayer. Thank you:)

Day #7 11/01/20

I cannot believe that I’ve been here for seven days already. It feels like just yesterday I was getting on the plane in Minneapolis. I’m starting to become more comfortable here, not that I was ever so homesick that I was miserable or anything, but the fact that it is 82º F and sunny here while back home it’s like 2º is starting to make me look at this place with new eyes. 

This morning I slept in (6:40am) and had my quiet time, eventually, I meandered down to Mitch’s for coffee. We hit the road in search of some breakfast at D&D Brewery, not to be confused with Dungeons and Dragons. What I was expecting was a typical Honduran resturant joint: cute, tiny, and mostly clean, with some handmade decorations around. What I found was something different entirely. Los Naranjos is about 30 miles from Sigua and there are only two signs and no street names. It was a good thing Mitch knew where we were because I sure didn’t. When we finally arrived after driving through the mountain highway CA-5 (Central America 5), the outside appearance which consisted of a grass “parking lot” at the end of a long 4×4 type road was pretty unassuming. However, as we stepped into the entrance we were met by a jungle staircase surrounded by beautiful canopy. Down these stairs was a hidden jungle oasis. Where I was expecting a few plastic tables and chairs, and possibly some hispanic music, I was met with smooth lobby jazz and beautifully crafted wooden cabanas. There were hammocks everywhere and lounge chairs for long siestas in the sun breaking through the tall trees. If this sounds too good to be true, you’re just going to have to check it out for yourself. There really is nothing like it, so there’s no good way to explain what it’s like. I can tell you that the food is excellent, and that the The Blue Willow is lucky that D&D is so far away because their french toast and coffee blow Blue Willow out of the water. Plus, their prices can’t really be beat. I’m gonna attach pics after this because it’s easier to let the beauty of this place speak for itself. Just know, that the pictures do NOT do it justice. I kept saying while I was there that I was sure it was heaven. 

I really never wanted to leave, but we had big plans to see un BIG cascada (waterfall)! It was only a short drive from D&D to la cascada Puhlapanzak. This big attraction had one small sign at the turn off of the main drag, typical of most things in Honduras. This tactic is a bit different than South Dakota that has ads for Wall Drug a clear 400 miles away. We reached the park and were met by many locals having fun for their weekend. There was a river with mini-falls within it where people were swimming and hanging out. We were pretty much the only gringos there, so we got to play the staring game which is always fun… I decided it would be fun to start looking at people with just as shocked a look on my face to mirror their amazement. I haven’t done it yet, but I’ll let you know what happens when I do. It was only a short walk from the entrance to the falls, when we got to the clearing to see it we were the only people there except for two others in the distance. It was amazing. I know, that sounds dumb. You’re probably thinking, this girl goes to a waterfall, builds it all up like this in the story and can’t think of a darn thing any better than, “It was amazing.” Well, before you get all upset, understand that this fall is something that takes your breath away. It’s akin to the night sky. Something that God put there to remind you of your place in this world–just a blade of grass, here today and gone tomorrow, so small. As I stood there, most of my time was spent with my eyes closed letting the mist from the crashing current wash over my face. It was so refreshing, I couldn’t help but to continue to thank God for the amazing creation He made for us to enjoy. It wasn’t an obligation, not that I felt the need to thank Him for such a beautiful place, but I couldn’t help it.  

Day #5 09/01/20

I don’t really feel like writing right now. I’m really sleepy, under my fuzzy blanket (from the hospital staff), and I’m quite comfortable. But, I really want to document and remember stuff from this trip since it’s probably one of the more impressive things I will do with my life. Well, I hope I keep doing cool things, but you never know… See, I’m not even really making sense I’m so tired; nonetheless, here goes.

Today we were at El Porvenir again at the clinic. Today we saw some of the same patients plus some new ones. Apparently today was ear cleaning day because we did these really nasty ear cleaning treatments on 3 out of our 7 patients. With what we had to work with, it was pretty impressive all the gunk we got out of their ears. I kept meaning to take a picture of the way I was taught to clean our reusable equipment; hopefully I can tomorrow. It’s outdoor at a “sink” meant for washing clothes– right next to two non-flush outdoor toilets in wooden huts. One half of the sink catches water (not exactly sure from where, but it looks pretty clear), and the other side has a drain to dump water down. The way we sanitize is by dumping some powder soap/detergent into a bin and then scoop the outdoor water with a pail into the bin and let it sit for 15 minutes. We do this with breathing masks for nebulizing treatments, with the ear cleaning supplies, and various other equipment. I have to pinch myself each time I walk outside to clean the medical equipment (equipo) that what I’m experiencing is real life.

Last thing, before I fall asleep with all my lights on and my computer on my lap. We went to the market today! It is only on certain days of the week. There were SO many vendors with fruits and veggies mainly. The other type of vendor was for clothing. The clothing ones were a bit disappointing; I was hoping to find some artisan or handmade craft, but most everything was bough cheaply off the internet or already used and then sold. Anyway, everyone kept staring at us and offering us papas (potatoes) for sale. Apparently, they assumed that white people only wanted potatoes. [Side note: a fun thing to do in Honduras is to be white and then go anywhere. People stare at you like you can’t see them, and they don’t try to hide it at all. I’ve started to great every person that I can, I’ve found that it sort of breaks them out of their daze in amazement that they’d found a gringa and embbarass them just a small amount that they were staring so hard.] The best part by far though was that this old guy in a neon safari hat with emojis on it eyed both of us up and proceeded to scamper in front of us as we were walking through the market and every once and a while do a sort of heel click (think leprechaun) and then look back at us, keep walking, and then do it again. We weren’t sure what he was trying to accomplish… for a while we thought maybe trying to entertain so we would pay him, but he never asked for anything, so he might’ve just been confused.. It sure was interesting though…

We also went to the grocery store where I bought a can of Planter’s Cashews for 240L which is equivalent to about 10 USD. Yes, I am slightly ashamed. It is pretty challenging to find wholesome foods around here other than fruit, but I’m working on it. After that monstrocity of a purchase, we went to the Mennonite store (yes, they live in Honduras too). We bought some icecream and yogurt and some carrot cake bread that I am stoked to eat at work tomorrow… 

I finally got to facetime my fam tonight after dinner, it means the world to me to get to those faces and hear them and talk. Also getting to see my puppies was pretty nice:) Alright, I’m way tired. Goodnight.

P. S. Here’s the view from my office:

Plantain chips became a quick favorite!Quick selfie in my scrubs feeling cool because CNAs never get to wear stethoscopes.

Peep the entire archivado of every patient in the clinic. All patients have a Manila folder. This is the extent on the filing system.

Day #4 08/01/20

Last night there was NO gunfire!!! It was so quiet and I slept like a baby! I am starting to feel more comfortable in this big house all by myself. The door doesn’t really lock, but my bedroom door has a deadbolt on it, and there are armed guards surrounding the hospital grounds. It’s just unsettling sometimes to hear “fireworks,” and also I still haven’t seen Sandy the spider recently so I hope she found a different house and isn’t plotting to kill me in my sleep. 

Today we went to El Porvenir where we have a clinic. The interesting thing about the clinic is that we don’t just wait for people to come or schedule appointments (there aren’t any appointments)– when our truck arrives to the clinic at 7:30am, most of, if not all, the patients are already there waiting. Today we had about nine patients total which is a bit different than working at Aspirus. My main job at the clinic is to help Elba, my nurse, to take vital signs (i.e. blood pressure, temperature, O2 sats, and respirations, and weight) granted all these things are in spanish on the sheet, so that was a challenge. I have a confession to make… I lied all day about the temperatures. They werent the swipe across the ear or those really stretchy ones that plug into the wall. They weren’t even the digital from walmart. These were real thermometers, like the ones in science class– except, when you take them out of the persons mouth it doesn’t actually show anything. The number 37 was highlighted though, so I chose between 36-37 to make it look like it was reasonable… No one was that sick.. I’m terrible. I couldn’t explain though that I didn’t know how to read it…

After work Mitch and I went for a run through the city. He biked and followed me for about 5 miles through Siguatepeque. This city is not built for running at all. None of the streets go the same way, some are one ways (you’re supposed to just know that, there aren’t any signs), there are also no street names (thus no street signs either). I would have been so lost without Mitch there. Also this altitude is still kicking my butt. Mitch said that you’re supposed to acclimate within 4-5 days, so apparently I’m personally responsible for being slow after tomorrow.. Shoot. Anyway, in Siguatepeque, cows have the right of way on the road, yes, downtown. So we come up behind this small herd with their herder guy and I slow down to let them go and try to run around them on the side. Well, I guess ‘ol Bessie didn’t like that too much and he turned around and started running at me. I turned around and ran a few steps the other way, but the herder got to him before the bull could touch me and it was all fine. We laughed about it after we passed them; it’s all good.

This morning I asked if Wyatt, director of Music at a church and for the schools and also Mitch’s close friend, would let me borrow a guitar while I’m here. By three o’clock after I got back from work, the guitar was already here. I’m so grateful for such awesome people down here. God has really just been providing with what I need. It’s not in some super crazy spiritual way, but everything I need, whether it be somewhere to run, or lift, or a guitar, He has provided. 

My best suprise today was by far a Facetime call with Wy. The only wifi connection I have here is at Mitch’s house, and it is so weak that I can’t even get on my blog or google, and it takes about four minutes at best to send a text. So, I just assumed that Facetime would never work, but I decided to try becuase there was nothing to lose. It worked. I was so shocked and happy that I immediately burst into tears (happy ones). Yesterday there was a power outage and I couldn’t get any texts out to my family. I was receiving some so that was good at least, but I couldn’t communicate and it hit me pretty hard. I flip flop between, “WOW THIS IS SO AMAZING I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M HERE DOING THIS STUFF!!!!!,” and, “I just want to go home.” It’s a struggle, but I think it will get better, especially now since facetime works! I take it for granted how amazing it is to spend time with my family– even if it’s just a text or two.

The last thing that was interesting today was dinner. Mitch and I went to Frites and Grill which is an outdoor resturant that has pretty much everything except pizza and dessert. I got a bacon burger which was pretty darn good. I was so hungry that anything would’ve been pretty decent. We both had liquados, which are smoothies but with a water base instead of milk, like a smoothie has. I had strawberry (fresca), and downed it so fast. Hopefully there wasn’t any tap water in it and I don’t get diarrhea or anything. But it was so good I sucked it down and hoped for the best. Alright. I need sleep, got to be ready for another day at the clinic tomorrow!

Well, I am officially moved into my very first home ever. I have a 5 bedroom, at least 2 bathroom (I’m too wimpy to check it out in the dark by myself–so I’m not sure exactly), full house. Now, by Honduran standards, it is quite nice. I really didn’t know what to expect since I’m a newb to everything here. It exceeded my thoughts of what it would be! I haven’t even met anyone here at the hospital grounds yet, and they have already been more than accommodating. First, Mitch, who I call poop-dog (story for another time–you’ll be hearing lots about him later on) had already made sure that the house was scorpion free– I’m still pretty paranoid about it, but guess we’ll see. Then, when I got to the house, there were already clean sheets on my bed with extra blankets and a pillow case, towels, soap, and a washcloth. 

Tonight might be a struggle to fall asleep. Mitch said the place is surrounded by multiple armed guards (like all places in Honduras) but for some reason that doesn’t make me feel super great ahah… 

I’m pretty overtired from travel today, so maybe that’s why but I look around and remember where I am and it just doesn’t even feel real. All the sudden it’ll hit me again where I am and that I have no idea what I am doing. 

When I got off the plane, through customs, and finally out into the rest of the airport, I saw Mitch’s familiar Santa Clause beard and shock of white (he calls it blond) hair and immediately felt at ease. My eyes got a little misty… no tears though… [side note: as I am writing this I’m hearing either fireworks or gunshots… Mitch said it’s hard to tell sometimes].

The drive out of the airport was slow going at first, multiple cars making up their own lanes on the road. Due to some interesting government administration (or lackthereof) the road is an ever evolving enigma: sometimes it’s two lane, sometimes four, sometimes theres lines, sometimes not. We did drive on an overpass that was incredibly unecessary. That was weird. The drive to Siguatepeque from the airport was a decently long one. Although it felt like we never really went anywhere. You know how you drive through a more run-down part of town but then the farther you go it eventually turns into something a bit more comfortable? That didn’t happen. Along the road were huts, some made with corrugated metal, some with tarps or sticks. Interspersed were houses, most of which do not have full walls. This is because there is no air conditioning or heat, so there is always a breeze moving through the home. There were gated communities, although Mitch assured me that this does not mean they are “nice” homes, just guarded ones. 

During the drive as we passed cars without any lights (in the dark) and passed people selling fruit in the middle of the street at the toll plazas, I thought “Goodness gracious, the United States has so many laws. It’s kind of boring there.” I think I like the laws in the US for the most part, but it’s just a different world out here. I feel like an idiot for not knowing anything, but so grateful that I have the opportunity to learn and to not remain in the dark about others realities. Yesterday, on my run I was thinking, “no matter what I see or experience, that is their reality. I get to leave it in three weeks, but that does not change their reality or mine, it just changes what I am paying attention to. They don’t get to leave.” I’m not entirely sure what I have to do yet, but I know that I can’t go back in three weeks and ignore their realities. I know it’s not my job to save the world on my own or to fix every injustice I witness, but I do know that it is my job to recognize reality.

I have WiFi but it’s pretty limited in its capability! I just found out yesterday that FaceTime works for some reason, but I have no access to websites and texts take about 3 minutes to go through. I am not sure if I can get this blog post to go through, but if I can, I will be posting from my phone. I have still been writing so there’s a lot saved up to post!